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Hey Lib,
OK wise guy—to paraphrase Robert Redford in “The Candidate,” “What do you do now?”  
Sincerely,
Still Red in Visalia, CA

Dear Red,
First thing I do is google the phrase “hangover cures.” You might want to do the same thing. Since your drinking isn’t celebratory, I have a feeling it might last the next four (or hopefully, eight) years. I know how you folks love your Jack Daniels, but you might want to stick to the clear liquors—they’re a lot easier on the internal organs.

And if you’re like your red brethren, you may be heading down to the local firearms dealer. Gun shops around the country are reporting sales of up to seven times the average in the days after the election. I find it ironic that Obama was pilloried for saying that many Americans cling to guns and religion, but then as soon as the race was called for Obama, the McCain voters reached out for their 9 millimeter security blankets. It seems Obama was right about the “guns and religion” thing—well, at least the “guns” part. I’ll wait and see if there’s an uptick in church attendance.  

We liberals are more likely to see these things as part of a pendulum swing of decades-long cycles of Republican damage and Democratic repair. No one party is dominant for long. If conservatives ran this country continuously, we would slip into a scenario like “The Road Warrior,” with the difference that Mel Gibson wouldn’t be one of the good guys.

As to what we do next, contrary to the fears of those folks mobbing the local Guns ‘R Us, our first priority is not to pry your cold red fingers from your beloved Smith & Wesson. We’re going to set about cleaning up this economic mess and then start in on things like universal health care. You should applaud that—more guns mean more gun accidents. Until we get a plan in place, be careful cleaning that new semi-automatic. And remember what I said about vodka.

Yours,
Frederick Douglas Trotsky-Goldman