Flickr: Creative Commons by Tomas

Yes, it's true. Time Magazine has declared that Jean-Claude Van Damme "deserves not a black belt, but an Oscar" for his role in the new meta-action film JCVD.

I'm giving the film's producers about a week before they start using that quote in every one of their ads.

Like so many other major publications, Time gave a great review of both the film and Van Damme's performance in it's Nov. 6 issue, saying that it was the "best movie Van Damme ever made." That's not saying much considering his repertoire to date, but then TIME went ahead and upped the ante in the Short List section of this week's issue--with an endorsement for an Academy Award.

I think it's great that the "Muscles from Brussels" is getting so much positive buzz for his latest, but an Oscar nomination for Van Damme will most definitely put a crimp in my long-held dream of uniting him with fellow hard luck action superstar Steven Segal on the big screen with the buddy-cop-romantic-comedy I've been writing to resurrect their careers. And I'd already been counting on the oodles of cash that a bare-knuckle Brokeback Mountain would undoubtably bring home to papa. Damn you, Jean-Claude!!!

WATCH: JCVD trailer WATCH: MadTV Segal/Van Damme spoof