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Hey Lib,
What’s the liberal take on Thanksgiving?    
Gobbler in Braintree, MA

Dear Gobbler,
Thanksgiving is a holiday founded on the concept of human suffering, but that’s just because you have to spend it with your family. But in terms of political correctness, Thanksgiving is a harder call than, say, Halloween, which is an almost Marxist redistribution of candy. One is bound to have misgivings about Thanksgiving if you’re a Native American…or a turkey.

Thanksgiving was of course begun by the Pilgrims, a group that fled religious persecution and went somewhere they could inflict religious persecution on others. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to the Pilgrims that, whatever heathen gods the Indians were praying to, those gods were doing a better job than the Pilgrims’ God when it came down to bringing in a bountiful harvest. In any case, the Indians shared their food, the Pilgrims chipped in smallpox, and America had its first homegrown holiday. The conquest of North America was untidy, but it was quite a while ago. Very few Pequot Indians are dying of measles these days, and in the end they got some very profitable casinos out of the deal.

Then there’s the matter of the turkeys. Factory farming is a gruesome business. Luckily, most of us carnivores can remain relatively guilt-free. We don’t have to witness the slaughter, unless Sarah Palin is near a camera crew. That macabre piece of footage probably cost the Butterball Company several million dollars in lost sales. In short, there’s a lot wrong with Thanksgiving, and I haven’t even gotten to the fact that we have to watch the hapless Detroit Lions play on that day every year.  

Yet we live in a land of plenty, whether you believe that’s primarily due to manifest destiny, or guns, germs, and steel. A little thanks-giving would seem to be in order. Bottom line, liberals should celebrate Thanksgiving, but while doing so we should complain endlessly about its politically incorrect aspects. That way we get to chow down, and still annoy the hell out of our families.

Yours,
Frederick Douglas Trotsky-Goldman