Here is your mission, should you choose to accept it:

1. Top Story

Karl Rove Has Thrown The True Legacy of 9/11 Under the Bus

Democrats Demand Apology

2. Underbelly

Conservatives Hold Public Television Over a Cliff, Alter It Completely, And We Don't Even Notice Because We're So Happy It's Not Dead

3. Rachel's Front Page

The Rachel Maddow Show Goes to Seattle for Pride Week Hoping to Crash Mama Heche's Ex-Gay-a-thon

Plattsburgh for Peace is Sending Out the Not Welcome Committee For Fred Phelps in upstate New York.

Rumsfeld Spoke to the Senate Yesterday About Iraq and said, OK, We're So Not Losing.  Meanwhile, sitting right next to him but a million miles away in the real world, a top general said the insurgency is still very strong.

The 527 Fairness Act of 2005 has a crappy name specifically to make you not realize that it guts, fillets, breads and fries McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform.  What do you think an individual who gives over a million dollars to a political party in every single election can expect for his or her investment/ 

4. Pet Story

Republican Cheerleader Marry Carey Farts on the Daily Show.  This is the Funniest Thing Ever.  It's juvenile.  It's unimportant.  It has absolutely no redeeming social value.  And we're not not not not sorry.  Occasionally, even the newsiest show in the world has to bow down before the altar of funny noises.  We surrender!

5.  DEVELOPING STORIES

The Supreme Court be announce its final cases of the term on Monday, including possibly the Matthew Cooper & Judith Miller contempt case in the Valerie Plame affair.  Everyone will talk all weekend about whether Rehnquist will resign now that it's the end of the term.

And, it's friday, so watch for flaming stinky summer trash to be hauled out to the press release curb at the end of the afternoon!

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Vanessa